END OF LIFE SUPPORT
Mummy’s Star are here to help you, your partner and your family
Here at Mummy’s Star we are here to help you, your partner and your family as you try to navigate one of the most difficult times. To be given the news you or your partner is going to die is beyond words, but to be given that news when you’re planning a life as a new mum and a new family is just devastating.
Most new mums can just take for granted that they have a life of being a parent and seeing their child grow up that spreads over the many years ahead. But to be told you don’t get to have that can mean that the emotions that arise can
To have to face saying goodbye to everyone and everything you love – including your tiny baby – and trust that someone else will bring your child up is so, so incredibly hard.
And to think about bringing up your child without their mother. How you will do it without them? How can you help them remember and make sure you keep them as emotionally healthy as possible?
How you approach this can range from ignoring it completely and not wanting to talk about it or face it right through to saying goodbye, planning your own funeral, making memory boxes and writing letters for the years to come, so your child can get a real sense of who you are and that you are there beside them or in their hearts even if you are not physically present.
As with all the information here it’s up to you and nobody else can decide what is right or wrong for you and your family. Perhaps talk to someone close to you, your partner, or your health care provider or a therapist to help you work out how you want to say goodbye and what you want to leave behind.
Facing this alone is so, so scary and you are also going to be grieving all that you are losing as well as facing your thoughts about dying and your child’s future. We are here to help you talk through this, offer some information and share things that have worked for others in a similar position. We know it because we’ve lived it.
What do we mean by 'End of Life'?
Terminal? Poor prognosis? Palliative care? Dying?
Some of these things can mean different things to different people and it can be confusing. Some people may have ‘palliative care’ for several months, others receive a ‘poor prognosis’ and live for months and ‘terminally ill’ patients may have many years to live.
End of Life refers to the last weeks and days of a person’s life. Unfortunately, none of us can predict the exact moment when we die, but End of Life support and planning can help you and your loved ones prepare as much as possible.
Open conversations around prognosis and end of life can be extremely difficult to have but also important for everyone involved. They can provide understanding of what is going to happen as well as what support and care can be put in place for this final part of life. This also gives you the chance to talk about your faith or spiritual beliefs you have and if there are any wishes or requests you would like to be taken into account.
Most mums take for granted that they have a life of being a parent and seeing their child grow up which spreads over the many years ahead. To be told you don’t get to have that can be distressing and worrying both physically and emotionally overwhelming. You may also be anxious about the physical process of dying and worry about pain. There is a huge amount of loss to process about the things you hoped you would be able to do.
How you approach end of life can range from ignoring it completely and not wanting to talk about it or face it right through to saying goodbye, planning your funeral, writing a will, making memory boxes and writing letters to your children for the years to come.
End of life and your finances
We understand that as you near the end of your life, you or your family may also have concerns about finances. Financial help is available, and you can sometimes access it at short notice. More information and support can be found in specialist section on 'end of life' finances.